The original cast of Star Wars is returning for Episode 7. With that announcement the internet exploded with opinions that ranged from pure joy (that would be me) to a total lack of interest (that would be most under the age of 24). Originally I was very thrilled at the notion of seeing the original actors once again pared with the characters that made them famous and took all of us to that galaxy far, far away. For me there is no other way to see these characters. I’m sure I would get over it if they did recast the whole thing, like what was done with Star Trek but then again maybe not. The original Star Wars Universe was wrapped up apparently. So bring us some closure and then recast and what not. Anyway at the end of the day who really cares? Let’s just enjoy more Star Wars and grow the Disney coffers to the point of them being the wealthiest entertainment company on the planet. .
The master minds behind Disney’s move to purchase Star Wars from George Lucas were obviously financial geniuses. Billions of dollars will continue to roll in from what already exists in the Star Wars licensing universe. But that’s not the brilliant part. The impressive financial accolades I bestow on those folks come from the foresight I see that they obviously saw too. No not by introducing a whole generation to Han, Luke and Leia toys. This move is much more brilliant than that.
With the return of Hamill, Fisher and Ford (and for the sake of respect let me add in Billy Dee) marketers can target the existing fan base that generated those original billions of dollars by releasing age appropriate, licensed merchandise tie ins. Think about it. The original cast and characters convinced us as children to desire tie in toys so bad that we would settle for an empty box from Santa, Eat terrible cereal that tasted like what a Gundar must smell and of course watch terribly boring Saturday morning cartoons since that was all we could get if we wanted more of our beloved trilogy. Think of all the stuff they can sell us? Here’s my short list:
Luke Skywalker for Depends.
Yeah, this one was far too easy but sometimes you gotta go with the obvious before you go with the more risky jokes. Scroll down to see Leia and why I say that.
Leia Organa-Solo for Menopause pills.
Who better to pitch products tailored for “the change” than the lady who saw more change than anyone else in the movie series. Not only did she watch her home planet get completely blown away in one failed swoop, she was tortured by her father (yeah we didn’t see that part but it was implied and we know what Vader did to Han), kissed her brother, found out she was adopted, and last but not leas was kidnapped by furry muppets. Plus you figure being a Jedi come lately all those ups and down’s with the newly acknowledged midichlorians there’s bound to be some balance issues.
Han Solo for Orthopedic shoes and roller walkers.
Considering he used to pilot the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy it should come as no surprise that General Solo would still have a need for speed even if the method had to be changed.
Lando Calrissian – For Ensure
– Many would have read way into this thinking I would make a Viagra joke at Lando’s expense. Nope. Biggest Lando fan in the world right here. Besides everyone who’s honest with themselves knows that Lando is all about ensuring what’s best for the future.
And most likely I’ll buy all of it. Now, Go Play! Jim 03/11/13 and SHOP!